Look, I'm trying to write a dissertation here, and it's driving me a little bit crazy. I need to be able to go for walks at night without running into anyone. Please understand that, after sunset, the forest is mine to run around in, and I don't want to encounter anyone, especially anyone who is going to talk to me, because I really don't like that. I don't know why you're riding a bike in there when there's a foot of mud, and I especially don't know why you're hitting on me in the middle of the woods at night, because that is a really special level of creepy right there. Just go away. Please. You can come back when it's light out.
Also, if I see any more large black dogs running around in the woods at night, I'm confiscating them and keeping them (I've only wanted a dog for, oh, MY ENTIRE LIFE, and I've wanted a large black one for two years or so, ever since NephthysWrath told me about Big Black Dog Syndrome). You people are taunting me and it isn't nice.
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