More random thoughts

So, I have not had my shots, because the doctor my mother wanted to send me to apparently does not exist (which is odd, because I had no trouble booking an appointment with her...?) My mother is way more agitated about this than I am. I spent the time between my phone call and the appointment that never happened trying to think of a way out of it. I think I may just heave a surreptitious sigh of relief and stop worrying about the shots, which I do not need. My mother is pissed because she has apparently misplaced her big-girl panties and wants me to go to her new doctor and see what she's like before she herself goes. I'm pretty sure she doesn't actually care that much whether I ever get around to getting my unnecessary shots. But anyway.

I'm completely fascinated by this place, partly because other people's living spaces are interesting (apparently I picked up nosiness from my mother) and because I have no design sense of my own and I can't decide if my own room looks like it belongs to a precocious 5-year-old who's allowed inappropriate movies, or to a crazy woman who's tried to move into the corner of a used bookstore. Also, other peoples' book and movie collections interest me. Everyone in the entire world owns Harry Potter (and if it isn't in the photos, I'm pretty sure it's because they were embarrassed and hid it under the bed) but everyone in the entire world also owns Middlesex and Memoirs of a Geisha, which I didn't expect. (I have both, but I would have put money on Bell Jar and She's Come Undone.) Everyone in the entire world also owns Love Actually, which I didn't expect (is it really that good?) I own it, as a matter of fact, but I have not watched it and I only bought it because Connie Willis said to (she introduced me to Jane Austen and Damon Runyon, so now I would jump off a bridge if she told me to) and because I'm having an issue with one of the actors (I disgust me). But I digress. It also introduced me to this thing, which means my blank wall problem is solved.

Lately, people have taken to informing me smugly that I'm going to meet someone in England and not want to come back. This sets my teeth on edge for several reasons:

1) Hi, my name is Antares. Have we met?

2) It's nice that you apparently know so much about me, anyway.

3) The day I let some man derail my life like that is the day I shave my head, paint my toenails pink, and decide I prefer Anakin to Obi-Wan. Or I suppose it could happen if I had 3/4ths of my brain removed, or something. Whatever. People are morons.

My hair is at a good, sensible length. In the past 4 months I've cut it from my thighs up to my waist. I can fall asleep with it loose and only need 30 seconds to detangle it when I wake up, I can wash it have it dry in less than half a day, etc. It works well with my figure type and it's flattering and certainly no one would call it short. But I cannot get over the "It's so friggin' short!" feeling. I assumed it would last a couple of days at most, but I am still totally shocked when I pull a brush through it and it abruptly ends and I smack my hand on something (we all know that feeling, right?) Plus my ends have lost that nice taper and I can't put it up because they won't tuck in, so my only styling options are down, braid, or ponytail. It's driving me crazy. I have no idea what to do. I guess I'll just have to grit my teeth and wait for it to grow back.

I have not yet had an attack of the "I'm too stupid for grad school!" hysteria. I know it's going to strike at some point and I really wish it would do it already, because I'm convinced that the longer it holds off, the uglier it will be. At this point I could probably fix it with a few trips to the library but if it hits in, say, August, it's probably going to reduce me to sniveling catatonia. I used to get the "I'm not good enough for art school/this class/this show" hysteria ALL THE TIME, even when I was medicated, which I'm not anymore. And art was something I knew perfectly well I was good at. Archaeology I have no idea about, so I assume the hysteria will be considerably worse. I don't even know enough to know how clueless I am.

And finally, just for the entertainment value - last night I dreamed I was on a dig in England (wow, how colossally arrogant is my subconscious?) and I heard that the current administration was planning to withdraw from Iraq and invade Canada instead. See, there's something that would induce me to stay in England and never, ever leave.