Is February over yet?

I'm having another bad week, and I'm kind of annoyed about it all.

First of all, my overhead light fixture has been broken since the 11th (the bulb burned out, I tried to put another one in, and the socket just crumbled away, which was terrifying). And it took me until last Tuesday to get down to the office to put in a work order because I was so sick that week that I just didn't care. And the socket was only fixed today. Dude, it was not that big a deal. And they put a fluorescent bulb in, and it's making all my food look unappetizing, but I am afraid to put another bulb in because an electrical socket crumbling under your fingers is kind of a scary experience.

And I do not need my food to look unappetizing, because I am having a problem with that. I am really irritated with my body right now. I never gained back all the weight I lost from being sick, probably because my stomach is all shrunken now. And while I'm sure I'm supposed to be ecstatic about all this, because I will be the first to admit that I do need to lose weight, I lost it so fast and in such an unhealthy manner that now my entire lower abdomen has handfuls of loose skin (I can pull out about an inch and a half of just skin) and it is unbelievably disgusting. NephthysWrath pointed out that if I would just drink something besides soda and remember to put on lotion more than twice a month the skin would probably tighten up, but I reserve the right to be annoyed about it, because all this floppy loose skin makes me feel even fatter. Plus, now none of my jeans fit and having jeans that bag at the hips, butt, and thighs is not flattering.

So I went for a walk this evening because I hoped it would help my appetite come back, but I still don't want my dinner and now on top of it all I miss my telescope. This is one of the things that I normally try not to think about, but the sky was clear, Venus was out, my entire favorite section of the sky is out during early evening (Orion, the Pleiades, and Canis Major and Minor) and I will not have a telescope again for a very long time. I can't have one now anyway, what with living in a dorm and all, but once I do have an apartment it will probably be in a city so I don't have to deal with getting a car, and the light pollution will be prohibitive (and without a car I can't go out to a field somewhere in the middle of nowhere to get away from the light pollution.) And if I ever do get to have a telescope again, it will have to be a new one that I buy here. I love the one I have now, but it's a reflector telescope, so it's an absolute monster - four feet long, and with a swivelling wooden stand that probably weighs 30 pounds - and there is no way I can afford to ship it to England, especially if I want it to arrive without being knocked irrevocably out of alignment.

And finally, my archaeological illustration class is making me insane. I'm taking it because I know I can get a job doing it, but I'm beginning to realize that if I am unfortunate enough to have to actually take a job doing archaeological illustration I will probably throw myself off a tall building within days. I should be good at it, but instead it is the bane of my existence. It combines all the worst qualities of graphic design with the dullness of drafting, so I am bad at it and it makes me want to stab myself in the eye. The part of me that is still an artist spends most of the time shrieking "WHY ARE WE USING THIS TERRIBLE PAPER?" while my inner 2-year-old reacts as usual to the fact that neatness counts for more than talent, and has tantrums. On top of all this the instructor seriously dislikes me, and I can't really blame him - I'm so bad at it that it must be painful to observe, and also I haven't been able to come in to work during the week because of illness, so he thinks I'm a lazy, untalented slacker.

Oh yes, and my sinuses are acting up yet again, which they do every couple of months or so, but this time the Sudafed, which normally makes it stop within a few days, is not working. I don't know what to do. I was just a little stuffy at night for a couple of weeks, which was obnoxious but certainly not the end of the world, but now I've reached the stage where I spend all night with a sore throat and can't sleep because of it.

And yet I am kind of proud of myself, because if I were having a month like this at USC, I would have just folded up and probably had a meltdown, or at least called home in tears several times. Now? I'm okay. Annoyed, but okay.