Well, that was sudden.

So yesterday, my dad made flight reservations for me. I'm totally coming back to the States for two weeks. My parents are coming out next week for my graduation and staying a week, and then I'll come back with them (because going to a foreign country all by yourself is so scary, you know) and I'll hang out there for two weeks. Well, not so much hang out as run frantically around trying to accomplish a year and a half's worth of errands, but, you know. I'm really glad the visa came in so early, actually, because this means I can renew my driver's license before it expires on the 31st, and given what a bitch that was for me to get (I hate driving so, so much) I don't want to lose it, even though at this point it's really just a backup form of ID. And there are quite a few other things I need to do.

I actually had a totally weird reaction to this - I started to panic. Not that panicking is a weird reaction for me, but panicking about going home certainly is. At some point, it seems, my mental state did a total 180, and now I'm thinking of it as going back to the States for a visit and then going home to England. I'm totally afraid to leave England. It's all very bizarre. I have to keep reminding myself that NephthysWrath is in the States, along with half my Connie Willis books and my favorite Rosencrantz and Guildenstern t-shirt and all kinds of stuff I left because I wasn't sure whether I would fail out of the program three months in, or decide I hated it here and move straight home afterwards. But I seem to have a death grip on England, so I'll be needing my copy of The Winds of Marble Arch.

Also, you know. There's decent sushi and tres leches cake over there, and people to visit. And I've been away for 16 months, which is a fairly long time. And my new visa totally says "Residence Permit" on the top, rather than "Entry Clearance," so I'm pretty sure they have to let me back in and I should stop freaking out about the whole thing.

Post-Study Work Visa!

I have leave to remain until January 7th, 2012. I totally did the happy dance in the kitchen, even though I'm allergic to the happy dance. At least there were no witnesses. And then I actually teared up because I was so incredibly relieved.

I r smrt.

It's been a month, and I feel I should update. But my life is unbelievably boring. So I'll just tell you what happened to me a few minutes ago, the way I told NephthysWrath.

DescartesAndroid (1:29:54 PM): so i was going through a drawer looking for paper and i sliced my pinkie open on a razor.
DescartesAndroid (1:30:45 PM): then, two minutes later, after i put a plaster on and everything, i went back in for an envelope and sliced open my index finger on the same razor.
DescartesAndroid (1:31:22 PM): in two weeks [prestigious university] wants to give me a master's degree. FOOLS.

Clearly, I still need supervision.

You know you want to keep me, England.

So yesterday I sent my visa application to the Home Office (FINALLY OMG), and today I confirmed that they received it via the Royal Mail website. My immigration adviser told me that the turnaround time on these things is 6-10 weeks, but it's closer to 6 weeks at this time of year (presumably because most people want to keep their passports so they can go home for the holidays - excellent, this benefits me.) Now I just have to sit here for the next 6 weeks and worry until all my hair falls out. Don't make me go back to the States! I don't want to! Their chocolate is terrible and all their DVDs cost too much!

"I suppose this is why I'm an archaeologist and not a prostitute."

NEVER SAY THIS TO YOUR MOTHER.

Even if 1.) she started it and; 2.) her version of the pre-college "talk" was "I'm only paying for one abortion, so be careful."

Still alive. Just BORED TO TEARS.

So, as it turns out, although I passed my Master's and I'm getting a degree in January (not that anyone but me was actually concerned, but I'm tired of apologizing for my neuroses) the university cannot release a letter to this effect until December 7th, and without this letter I cannot send out my visa application. Why can't they release this letter, even though I have passed and been approved by their committee and everything? I have absolutely no idea. England is full of random insanity like this. Unfortunately, I still have no job and am now even less likely to get one as my student visa is expiring in January, and that just doesn't look good on applications. I am bored to the point where I am considering doing things like crouching on top of the wardrobe and gnawing on my toenails. I don't think being out of school agrees with me. Also, I am broke and cannot entertain myself very well without classes to study for, although I do get free books and sometimes I break down and buy cheap DVDs.

Once I beat my way through the last of the arbitrary roadblocks and send off this damn application (I'm guessing that at some point it will become necessary for me to grab someone by the collar and scream directly into their face, as politeness is clearly not getting me far) it will be 6-10 weeks to process, rather than the 3 I was told before. This means I will not be going home for Christmas, as the government will have my passport. I am less than broken up about this. I fully expect my mother to contact me soon and try to coax a tearful admission that I wish I were going home for Christmas out of me, but I won't be able to oblige. I'm afraid the best I will be able to do is a sarcastic "Oh, yes, I'm so upset. You know how I hate the quiet and how terribly homesick I've been over the past 15 months, and how I've missed the US and its inferior chocolate." There will be a brief discussion about my teeth, and that will be the end of it. I did consider using "But I'm going to be all alone in a creepy house in a foreign country for Christmas!" on the university's registry department in an attempt to get my paperwork faster, because boredom and frustration have made me into a terrible person, but I refrained.

So, that's it. I would like to update more often, but there is NOTHING HAPPENING and it's making me INSANE.

Progress is made

Well, today that place I interviewed at actually called me back (FINALLY) and said they had hired someone who had actually done that exact job before, so at least I feel less like I totally blew my interview or something.

Also, my parents and NephthysWrath both said that, given that I was told I would have my official results by late October or early November, it was time to storm the castle, so I went up to the university and ran around demanding an explanation from people. But, apparently, if I come back next Friday they should be out, and I can get a printed copy rather than waiting for them to be mailed to me, so I can maybe, hopefully, if things actually go my way, have my visa application out by next Saturday. I am not at all sure I used enough commas in this paragraph, so here is another one.

I would also like to say that the boiler in the house just went out, so there is no heat or hot water, and it is freezing and pouring rain and the wind is actually howling, so this is all splendid. And of course I discovered this when I went to take my shower, and the water wouldn't heat up, so I'm sitting around in a bathrobe waiting for the landlady to get here and do something. (What she will do, I'm not sure, but I will be extremely agitated if I have to go to bed without a shower.) I guess at least the boiler went out before I managed to get in the shower at all, so at least I am not freezing and covered in soap.